How to Be Proactive Parents of Children with RAD!

It’s always interesting how I sometimes get inspired to write on something that I feel is very important to families of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).

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I recently had a conversation with a client who was absolutely terrified, angry and everything in between to discuss her child’s RAD behaviors with a group of power people. This mother was so nervous just talking to me that she could hardly tell her story and I was on her side.

This woman’s natural tendency was to talk fast. This is not uncommon. We talk fast while trying to get our point a crossed, because we feel we have to explain everything and the power people have no patience with us.

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I found myself teaching her some basic tricks to not let them people over run her. Power people have a tendency to dismiss what families tell them because of preconceived beliefs. Talking fast does nothing to cut into their beliefs.

I recommended she take a deep, relaxing breath before she presented her case. If she felt a little breathless, she should take another one. I’ve taught classes in active listening and how to help people get their point across without rushing, many years ago.

Keeping eye contact is something most people feel uncomfortable with, but with the power people, a person needs to be in control and be very assertive. I’ve learned over the years that not letting the power people have the last word is extremely important.

There’s an old saying, “that person puts on their pants just like everybody else.” I always found it amusing when a speaker, who couldn’t talk in public would say he focused on one person and imagined that person sitting before him in the nude.

I’ve never felt the need to imagine the above when dealing with power people because they do not frighten me, but I think talking to them is almost as scary as talking to a crowded auditorium to some parents.

This makes me feel like I should do a course on how to be assertive with the power people in your life.  Anyone interested in attending? LOL!

Thanks for reading. Email me if you want to have a course –

N. Ann Lamphere, MSW

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