Are You an Angry Parent of a RAD Child?

Touching Hands

I know I am! How about you, my readers? What is really causing your anger? Is it your child or is it the fact that when you ask for help the power-people tell you “You just need to LOVE them more?”

When I hear that statement, I always wonder if these nincompoops have ever had an adopted child who had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). Those people have no clue what parents of RAD kids go through.

I think those of us who are affected by RAD need to talk to the people who are in charge of each state’s Social or Human Services committee at the legislative level.  Changes need to be made!

There are several states that don’t allow families to find a different family for their RAD children. In other words, there is no option for families who want a different placement that might benefit their kids except to place them in either boarding schools or residential treatment facilities (RTF).

The states are Connecticut, Delaware, Massachusetts, Florida, New York and Wisconsin. The power-people there really haven’t thought through what happens to a family that adopts a RAD child – in other words they don’t believe families are suffering. If they are, it’s the family’s fault for taking on a damaged child.

(Don’t get me started on the uselessness of those boarding schools or RTFs. Children are abused mentally, physically, emotionally and/or sexually in those places. The kids don’t learn how to deal with life in healthy ways while locked up in those mini-jails.)

I know how beat up families can be after even just a few months living with a RAD child. It’s a crime that when a family tries to get help, they’re the ones blamed for the child’s behavior.

I’d like to start a campaign to get politicians aware of the inequities of the treatment of a family who adopts a difficult child and the family that adopts a well-behavedl child. The only way to get laws changed is to get politicians involved.

Are you parents so exhausted you can’t seem to function any more.  I totally understand. This is why no one in the RAD community can get enough strength to even discuss it with fellow RAD parents let alone someone who acts indifferent to your plight, as most politicians don’t have time for us little guys with a specific issue no one understands but us.

The question is “How do we reach these people?” One way may be getting your story told to the news media. Another way is to unite with other RAD families in your state and start a letter writing/email campaign to specific lawmakers to raise their awareness.

A complaint I hear regularly is news people get things wrong all the time. NOT SO! If it’s about publishing a story, always ask to see or read it before it goes public. Information is always important, but it needs to be correct or it’s useless.

I want to be known as a RADical adoptive parent/social worker. If you want to join my crusade, please join my email list or email me at

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