As a parent of a RAD child, I’ve had a bit of experience with something I realized hasn’t been discussed very often with RAD parents. Systemic racism.
Parents who have adopted children from Asian, African, Haitian countries, as well as African American and Hispanic from foster care need to be aware that professionals may have unresolved issues with different races.
I have had my run ins with police and a judge. I even had one with a teacher. I just never realized how race could have been a subtle underlying issue. But, going back over my life with a daughter from India who was actually darker than most black children, I realized that I was just fine with my daughter’s color, but others probably not so much.
When my daughter was raped in the hospital after having given birth less than 12 hours previously, the police didn’t bother looking for the perpetrator, he investigated my child. My question has always been WHY!
My daughter was arrested for stealing $2.99 from a store. When we went to court, the judge attacked me. I fought back and didn’t accept his decision that I was at fault. I later learned that this particular judge blamed the parents of adopted children all the time.
Another time a teacher allowed a kid in her class to bully my daughter and this kid was calling her derogatory terms related to black children. I demanded a meeting with the kid’s parents. The dad showed up, all 6 foot three and very belligerent. I’m 5 feet tall, but my mother instinct took over and with a little bit of calling out his teaching his child bad behavior, he wilted like most bullies. The teacher paid no attention to the situation.
All of the above are what adoptive parents need to be on guard against. Parents of colored RAD kids probably experience the subtle racism more than parents with normal kids.
Parents of RAD kids, I could use your help. If you have experienced any racism from any professional, I would love to hear from you. I don’t need names, just info on the situation and the type of professional, i.e., teachers, police, therapists, or any other. You can message me on Facebook or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thank you, I appreciate you all.
N . Ann Lamphere, MSW