Crisis memories can be difficult to revisit because of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I often have my PTSD triggered after doing intake calls of clients who have children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). I had a RAD kid and my life was turned upside down.
I have to write reports on the parents and their children. I almost always give myself a day between the intake calls and doing the reports. That day off helps me get settled and be able to finish the paperwork without too much stress. I have been doing this for 11 years.
Unless people know me well, no one ever really understands what has transpired with me and my daughter. Neither professionals nor adoptive parents with “normal” adopted children can understand what our RAD children do to us.
Writing this blog has helped me come face to face with all the issues of my RAD child. She was a victim of trauma before she came to me and then other trauma kept occurring after her arrival.
I’m attaching a previous post that I’ve used in my book “My Adoption Life” as an example of her on-going trauma issues.
INTRO TO “MY ADOPTION LIFE”
The phone call at 4:00am jarred me awake. It was a nurse calling to tell me my 12 year old adopted daughter, who had given birth to a baby girl the day before, had been raped in the hospital. How could this happen? Aren’t hospitals supposed to be safe places?
I raced to the hospital. The place was swarming with police. One of them explained what was known at this time, Kara was exhausted and sound asleep when an unknown person woke her up and threatened her with a knife; he then raped her and told her not to tell anyone or he’d come back and use the knife on her. She waited for about an hour, she thinks, and then called a nurse.
It was January 8, 1983. Kara had been in the United States since June 13, 1980. She was born in a small East Indian town close to Calcutta, India. I adopted her as a single woman. The only thing we knew at the time was that she had run away from home and landed in a Calcutta Jail because all the available orphanages were full.
A police officer took Kara and me to the Primary Children’s Hospital clear across town because she was under age 13, even though she was probably closer to 15, we had no idea when she was born. A volunteer from the Rape Crisis Center came to assist us with obtaining a rape kit. Once the kit was done, the police officer drove us back to the original hospital.
About three days later, the same police officer called me and confirmed that she had indeed been raped. He came out and interviewed her and me. He had his suspicions that Kara had known her attacker and had consensual sex with him. After giving birth less than 12 hours before, give me a break!!!!
To read the whole story, please check out my book. Right now it’s on sale for $.99 on Amazon. After March 15, 2021 it will go back up to $2.99. The paperback sells for $5.99.
The link to the book is: https://www.amazon.com/My-Adoption-Life-Reactive-Attachment-ebook/dp/B08VH3C144/ref=sr_1_1
Adoption agencies in Utah that I support:
Wasatch International Adoptions
Children’s Service Society
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